Saturday, April 10, 2010

Diary of a Tired White Woman don't really want to read my diary from about February 5th til March 15th! NOT pretty!I respect my readers, my husband and myself enough to not create posts when I am that stretched emotionally and physically! What I CAN say, is things are getting better. Tim is in his chair 12-14 hours a day, weaning off of the valium, and anxioius to go back to work part time next week. He will not be driving for some time yet, however we will go to the hand surgeon on Monday to get a plan for fixing the ligaments in his left wrist. Praying another surgery is not in the future....but if it is, I still know God is in the driver's seat.

Our first weeks home were very trying. Still on 60 mg a day of valium, staying confused and disoriented, getting him up twice a day and putting him back to bed...our nights consisted of bed at ten, wake up for meds at 12, turn at 2, alarm at 6, (waking up at least every hour for a channel change), Landon on the bus at 6:30, and repeat on a daily basis. It made the hospital stay seem like a piece of cake...

My blog is about the selfless acts of others...and the face of Jesus I see in them. Since it has been a are just a few...

After a complete meltdown of exhaustion, anger, frustration, etc.., I was speaking with my best friend from high school unloading one evening. She hung up somewhat abruptly, and called me a couple of hours later to inform me she was leaving the next morning to drive from Louisiana to South Carolina to rescue me! It had been two years since I had seen her. What a glorious sight it was! She cleaned, cooked, massaged my neck, played with Landon and fed Tim on occasion refusing to let me do any work that was unnecessary. It was the greatest gift God could have sent me. I love you, Susan.

So many others have pitched in with meals, gift cards, and just coming to hang out with Tim for a few hours so I could get a shower, take a nap or go to the grocery store. I am so incredibly blessed with an amazing church, friends, family and most of all an amazing God for bringing us through this. We have always been "The Perfect Couple." Tim so amazing for what he has overcome, everyone looking at me as if I am glowing because I married him despite his disability....what this has shown us is that we are human. We are vulnerable. We are not to forget that we can do nothing without our mighty savior. We do NOT have cruise control.

Our sobering moment came two weeks ago. One of Tim's closest, lifelong friends and college roommate committed suicide one Sunday afternoon, after attending church and lunch with his wife and two daughters, ages 2 and 5. He had called me on a daily basis during the stay in Atlanta, sometimes talking to me for more than an hour, encouraging me beyond belief. Speaking with Tim almost daily, offering him an ear to talk off. Knowing he had struggled with depression, but never expecting that phone call. Last Saturday as Tim spoke at his memorial, we realized that we never know what will be around the next corner. Please pray for Sarah and her two daughters, as well as their entire family.

We are enjoying life again. No bitterness, no selfishness, and no blame for the things that have come and gone. Only looking ahead to the time we have been given.