" God is after your heart...not your behavior." These words have been hounding me for over 48 hours. Have you ever faked anything? Have you ever wanted everyone else to believe you were okay, or good, or pure or anything else to the point that you thought you could convince yourself, the ones who know you the best, or even God of it?
I used to love to play dress-up. To pretend that I was something or someone that I wasn't. I loved watching my daughter pick out clothes at yard sales...old prom dresses and gaudy jewelry...so she could dress up like a princess. Our son spent ages 3 through 9 donning a cape every day of his life. We picked up used costumes so he could be a different superhero every day. I used to love to watch him put the large cape on Tim, as he hopped on the back of the wheelchair and they would go as fast as they could so the capes would fly in the wind. As the children have grown, they are realizing that the world is not a fairy tale. They see the world they are growing up in, and as much as I want to protect them and save them from everything that will bring them harm, I am learning to step back and let them learn lessons that are sometime hard to swallow. I know them too well. They cannot hide their pain from me. Anymore than you or I can hide our pain from our Father.
So why do we try? It's usually to make everyone else feel better. Or to pretend you are invincilble. Thinking at some point it will all go away. Personally I pour myself into serving and accomplishments, somehow thinking that by helping others my own pain will be disguised. And it works.
Most of the time.
We will always struggle. If we didn't struggle over one thing it would be another. If we didn't struggle then we would have no reason to seek God. Why do we have to have the answers to all of the questions? Why can't we just trust Him? It's like learning the consequences of not wearing sunscreen. I don't feel like it's hot....I'm in the water! Your children learn after the first sunburn that just because they don't see it taking place, the consequences that come that evening and the next day all point to the signs that they should have trusted you! It's no different for us....we have to trust God that He's got it.
We have to let Him be who He is. And trust that His word is truth. We have to.
God is moving in me to begin a discipleship ministry, to enable believers to be obedient by reaching out to others, mentoring them, and preparing them to do the same. Why me? Why not me? And why not you? I would love for you to pray about being a part of "Awaken." And I welcome the opportunity to come speak to your church or group about discipleship, or a number of other things. I am keeping the speaking events to one or two a month, so if you are interested, you are welcome to email me @ email@example.com
Give others the same grace that you have received. Whether they deserve it or not. Let God be God, and you be obedient. I promise. He will not let you down.